Thursday, February 10, 2011

Falling in Love

It's hard to believe that last week I was pregnant.  And the wait until I held a newborn in my arms seemed interminable.
I blogged a little about wrestling with the decision of VBAC vs. Repeat C, and I wanted to tie up the loose ends for all of you hanging on the edge of your seat, and beacuse I like it in movies when at the end, all the loose ends are tied up in a pretty little package, and you can leave the theater acting like you knew what was going to happen all along.
It took until the day before my scheduled induction to make the final call.  I just felt in my bones that my body wasn't ready to go into labor, and that an induction meant that I was going to spend the entire day fighting against myself with the probability of having a C-section at the end rather high.  And that was the very last thing I wanted.  Thinking about a repeat C was actually sitting well in my soul, and I knew it was the right decision for the baby and for me.  So we made the call to the doctor and changed the induction to a C-section.
I woke up at 5am on "birth day" and set about getting ready before we needed to leave at 5:30.  I was told to not eat after midnight the night before (standard operating procedure, apparently) so I ended up putting on makeup to distract myself from how hungry I was :)  Yes, I was that girl- the one on A Baby Story who saunters into the hospital for her C-section sporting a face-full of mascara, though I did try to make it look very natural and, "I just wake up this beautiful."
Arrived at the hospital and checked in at L&D right behind some woman who was ACTUALLY in labor.  She was sweating and panting, telling the nurses her name between contractions, I sauntered up to the desk and checked in like I was having a mani-pedi.  Normal pre-surgery from there, laughing while the nurse put the IV into my arm, walked into the operating room, quick shot in the back, and 20 minutes later there was the unmistakeable first cry of a newborn.

It was such a different experience from the first time.  I was less emotional, but more present.  Billy Joel music was playing in the background.  The doctors and nurses were relaxed and chatting with us about what we thought the baby would be, with everyone placing their bets as my OB made her way, inch by inch, toward the baby.  Then, after a ridicuous amount of pressure and tugging (the baby was WAY up high in my uterus, almost underneath my ribs) they lowered the curtain just enough for me to peek over and see my son.  He was beautiful- bloody and slimy with a head full of dark hair and wide open eyes.  They whisked him off for some cleaning and Mr. Braunalicious went over to reassure him.  All I kept hearing where tiny whimpers from the baby, and the sound of my husband lovingly whispering in his ear, "It's okay son.  Daddy's here, and I love you."
After the baby was cleaned and weighed (9 lbs, thank you very much) they brought him over to meet me.  I was still being sewn up, so they laid him on my chest just below my chin.  And I fell in love.  I honestly think that having babies is God's way of letting you continue to fall in love once you're married.  It's a totally and completely different kind of love- one where you'd lay your life down before you even know the first thing about the person, but it's falling and loving nontheless.
Precious few moments passed, and they needed to take the baby so the could finish up surgery.  We were still debating over his name- going between Ryan and Logan, both of us on either side and trying to look into the baby's eyes and see it written there somewhere.  Just before the nurse whisked him away, Mr. Braunalicious said, "I think he's a Ryan, honey."  And that was that.  He was named and officially welcomed into the family with a name that will forever tie him to us.

Recovery has been slow, but relatively easy considering. 
A-girl is adjusting well, she's enamored with her little brother and taking her big sister role pretty seriously. 
RC is blending in beautifully and is a typical second child- great sleeper, immune to noise, and very patient with his new parents and sister.
There it is.  A very different birth than I expected, but at the end of the day, we have a fabulous healthy little family that is growing together more and more every day.


Mrs. Case said...

yay!!! congrats!!

The Didlake's said...

Carrie, He is beautiful! What a gorgeous fam!

The Trotter Family said...

Can't wait to see him again. We have to get all the germs out of our house before I come by!