Get Carried Away

I have come across two blogs recently that have brought me to my knees...
The first was a man who lost his wife just 27 hours after she gave birth to their first and only daughter. He blogs about being a single dad and raising a beautiful little girl who reminds him every day of the mother she only got to see once.
The second is a mom whose youngest daughter drowned in their spa just 5 days after it was installed. The little girl was around 1 year old and had just started to walk. The mom blogs about raising her 3 older daughters in the midst of this tragedy and how much hope and strength God has given her.
Both of these tragic incidents have taken place within the last three months. I'm amazed at how much my perspective has changed since having the A-girl. Before, I would have read these blogs and thought, "How sad," and gone on with my life.
This morning, after spending an hour reading the second blog, I was in tears. Tears like those I have only cried after giving birth to my duaghter. Tears that are raw, bringing to the surface every emotion that I have ever felt. Tears that make me think of my mom and Nick and the A-girl my family and how lucky I am to have them in my life and how totally and completely devestated I would be if anything tragic happened to them. They are tears that I have only discovered since becoming a mom.
After crying, I started folding laundry. The thought occured to me that it had been a while since I had cried that hard. After coming home from the hospital, I was in tears daily. Not sad and depressed tears, but overwhelmed-blessed-happy-I love everyone and everything in my life so much that all I can do about it is cry tears. During that time, I was constantly apologizing for being so emotional as it had one of two effects on the people around me- they would either immediately jump up and get me a glass of water and try to make it better, or they would cry with me.
So my thought this morning was that those raw tears should not be apologized for. They are the tears that come when your heart grows bigger to accomodate a new member of your family that you love unconditionally and without reason. The tears that I could only shed after becoming a mom and learning what it means to feed someone else before feeding yourself even when you're famished. The tears that help me understand what my mom went through raising my siblings and I, and how I wish I could go back and spend every moment loving her like only a child can love their mom. The tears that help me understand just a little bit what God is about and the message of the gospel and the depth of Mary's sacrifice and the love that God has for every single one of us. The tears that will make me a better woman, a better mom, a better wife, and a better person.
So I am grateful for this newfound ability- the gift of connection to the emotion of the world and the indelible mark each tear will leave on my heart.
I am going to go hold my daughter, and possibly shed a tear or two.

Well, I meant for the title of the blog to say "One Month" in Spanish, but apparently month in Spanish is mes, not mesa. Nick wouldn't let me change the title as it now reads "One Table" and he thinks that's hilarious.

How hot is my husband?


He's loving the Baby Bjorn :) And the A-girl could not have been happier on our little family walk than being right next to her daddy.

Here's the smile that melts my heart-

And my favorite new picture of the A-girl...

She's the baby, gotta love her!

... with someone I've only known for two weeks.
Here's a picture of her little feet-

And her little hands...

A friend gave us a wall hanging that says, "A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty." I'm overwhelmed with how true that is.

The A-girl is doing great. She's so patient with her newbie parents and is giving us time to learn the ropes. I'm definitely being the quintessential "new mom" checking on her breathing and being overly concerned with people touching or breathing on her. I don't think I've ever washed my hands as many times in my life as I have the last two weeks.

I have to give a huge shout out to my mom, who has been my absolute saving grace. She has been over every day to see the A-girl, help me bathe her, do the dishes, bring me a new printer, and just generally go completely out of her way to make this transition as easy as possible. I don't know what I would have done without her. The other night at dinner, we were all sharing the best and worst parts of our day, and she said, "The best part of my day was holding my granddaughter. I'm going to be so sad the first day that I don't get to see the A-girl." Best Nana ever.

Another huge shout out to my incredible husband. Watching him hold our daughter is one of the best feelings in the world. He is so gentle and patient and concerned about her happiness and well being. Best dad in the world.

All in all, thanks to all the love, support, prayers, and delicious dinners we've been blessed with, the Braun clan is doing great! Thanks to you all- we love you!!!