Get Carried Away

Over Spring Break, we took a 7-day California Coastal cruise with about 20 members of my family.
It was a great vacation.  I was looking forward most to having absolutely no time commitments- no meetings, no set schedule, no decisions bigger than whether to lay out or read.
The night before we left, I was sitting on the floor of the kids room amidst a sea of clothing (nothing like packing at the last minute!) and Agirl burst into tears.  "I don't want to leave our house for SEVEN DAYS!" she wailed. It was so sweet. After picking a few special toys to bring with her and looking with Daddy at a few places we'd be visiting, she went to sleep seeming excited.  Ryguy was adorably oblivious, and looking forward to wearing his Elmo backpack.  
We embarked (I love that word! so fancy) on Saturday morning and hit the buffet for lunch.  I was anticipating eating Paleo being difficult. For the majority of the trip, sticking with meat and veggies was pretty easy.  I ate a little more dairy than I do at home (cheese, cream in soup, etc), and picked three nights to have dessert. Easter Sunday was a bit of a chocolate fest. Overall I felt really good about the choices I made and didn't feel deprived.  Helped that my crazy intense sister and I hit the gym most mornings, and one of my favorite shore trips was a workout with my husband- more on that later.
Sunday afternoon we watched our enormous cruise ship pass underneath the Golden Gate bridge from our balcony- that was a very cool experience. It was Easter, so the ship had a cute Easter activity fair with an egg hunt, face painting, and other fun games. We stayed on the ship Sunday night (despite the fact that the boat was docked in San Francisco overnight) to have dinner with the entire family- it was not only Easter but also my Dad's birthday.
Monday we ventured into San Francisco with my sister and her husband for exploring and our ultimate destination- Ghirardelli Square. The kids loved the seals on Pier 39, and Auntie Erin bought them both chocolaty treats at Ghirardelli.
Next we docked in Santa Barbara- Nick, Ryguy and I stayed on the boat and Abby went into town with her Nana and cousins.  The boys and I swam and napped- very relaxing day.
Then my favorite port- Catalina. Nick and I got engaged in Catalina almost seven years ago and haven't been back since.  We were looking forward to sharing it with the kids.  My favorite house on the island, Holly Hill House, is under construction but we took a picture with the kids with the house in the background in a spot very close to where Nick and I look one seven years prior. After searching the beach for seashells and playing mini golf at the best mini golf course EVER, we got ice cream at Big Olaf's and called it a day.
That night on the ship, I went with my cousins to watch the last Twilight movie at the "Movie Under the Stars." It's a giant movie screen above the pool on the top deck, and they lay out pillows and blankets and serve popcorn, pizza and warm cookies.  Too, too fun.
Thursday we docked in San Diego, and thanks to my gracious parents we left the kids with them and had a day-date. We started with a run from the pier to Petco Park- about 3.5 miles roundtrip. Usually when Nick and I run together, I alternate between feeling like I'm sprinting to keep up with him and checking my NikeRun app to see how far we've gone.  That day, though he'd never admit it, he pulled back a bit and we ran in-step, sharing good conversation and enjoying the sights.  I never thought exercising would be one of my favorite parts of vacation, but that run definitely tops the list.
After one more relaxing day on the ship, we were back home. The week went by so quickly, and living on a boat just a few doors down from my parents and aunt and cousins was more fun than I could have imagined.
I asked the kids what their favorite part of the trip was...
Agirl's was having dinner each night on the "little fancy restaurant on the ship." We had diner every
Ryguy's favorite part was "going on the HUGE tender boat."
Now that the world has stopped swaying (it took a few days!) we're settling back into regular life. And  have this picture to remind us of our awesome vacation-

I perform well under pressure.  Challenges bring out the best in me.  I was made for competition- even if its between me and my own willpower.

Back in October of 2012, I completed a Whole30.  It was an amazing experience. Before that, I truly believed that I knew everything I needed to know about losing weight.  I'd successfully lost 80 lbs. about eight years ago and had attended more Weight Watchers meetings than a recovering alcoholic. But something still hadn't clicked, and the weight came back on over the years.

The Whole30 really taught me for the first time how my body reacts to food, not just that I needed to take in less calories than I expended.  The concept of "equal calories" and good fats altered my approach to food.  I started treating food like fuel. Most importantly, for the first time in my life, I truly internalized what I was learning.

Like any lifestyle change, after a few months some old patterns started to wiggle their way back in.  Nightly treats were the thing I noticed most- despite the fact that there were now Paleo-ized versions of desserts (and therefore in my brain somehow healthy instead of just healthier) the progress I was seeing almost daily during the Whole30 had slowed to a near standstill. 

It was time for another reset, but the majority of my diet (treats aside) was still Whole30 compliant.  I'd read about the 21 Day Sugar Detox (21DSD) on one of my favorite blogs PaleOMG. the 21DSD is a very strict version of Paleo, requiring that you cut out almost all sugar- natural or otherwise.  Obviously, that means no food with added sugar or sweeteners, honey and maple syrup included. It also means no fruit with the exception of one green-tipped banana or green apple per day.

Honestly, it was rough in the beginning.  About 9 days in (the day before that time of the month) I was having a super craving for chocolate.  And I gave in.  I enjoyed in moderation a Paleo-friendly dark, dark chocolate bar and moved on. 

In the beginning, I thought the 21DSD was just going to be another period of substantial weight loss.  Again, I didn't really expect to learn anything new.  I was wrong on both accounts.  Did I lose weight? Yes! 8 lbs. Not as much as I expected, but still enough to drop me down into One-derland.

Did I learn something new? Yes! My body for sure did. I've learned how to be satisfied after dinner without a treat. That breakfast shouldn't include chocolate chips on regular occasion. And I wish I could adequately describe how lean and less bloated I felt without sugar in my diet.  That was truly eye-opening.

I finished my 21DSD last Sunday, and yesterday met with a coworker who hadn't seen me since January.  His reaction was something I want to keep in my pocket to pull out when I'm having a moment where I need to remember why I'm doing this.  His first reaction was, "Wow, you look incredible!" During the meeting, he was honestly sitting across the table from me, staring at me like he didn't know who I was and finally said, "I never realized before, but you look like my sister-in-law." This person is someone I respect and admire, and he's one of the most blatant and straightforward people I know.  To have him react that way reminded me of how far I've come, and also that I want to keep going.

What's next? I'm asking myself the same thing.  I'm trying to figure out a goal weight for myself, since that number will now be something attainable and realistic. And I'm going to continue to challenge myself both in diet and in the gym. That little voice in the back of my head that was once a self-defeating reminder of why I couldn't reach my weight loss goal is now the motivating force that drives me to compete against my own limits and will power and continue to succeed. I'm discovering the balance between quieting that voice down so that it doesn't overwhelm my thoughts and defeat me, but leaving the volume turned up just enough to challenge me.

He's officially and irrevocably two.
TWO!
Not a baby, not a little boy.  Smooshed somewhere in between in a magical world of toddler-hood-ness.
It's a daily surprise of emotion and bundles upon haystacks of energy and curiosity. His kind, precious little voice is emerging more every day. My favorites are "Love you, Mama" and the sweet, sweet sound of him calling his sister's name. That little voice that will repeat the same phrase over and over and over again until anyone within earshot validates his contribution and repeats it back to him word-for-word.
He loves all things boy- cars and Cars, trains- Thomas especially, and throwing or kicking anything that he's able to pick up or roll. He can just as easily hang with his sister, and has soaked up the name of every Disney Princess and plays fairies or Lalaloopsy upon request.
His laugh is infectious, teetering just on the edge of completely fake because it's so loud every single time. He's figuring out how to be funny- a well-placed flash of the eyes, and loves meeting new people and giving high-fives.
I wonder if its only because I'm his mom that I can see the little wheels spinning in his head as he figures out this big world springing into his consciousness. There are things he understands perfectly without having to be told, things that frustrate him, things that surprise him, and things that he wants to do completely on his own without any help.  
He's sweet and spunky, moody and magical. I had no idea two years ago that we were having a little boy come into our lives, and now I can't imagine my world without his gentle hands and untamed cowlick.
We love you Ryguy. You break the mold of fantastic every day and I am privileged to be your mom.

It's that time of the year.
You know, the time AFTER the most wonderful time of the year.  That weird week where Christmas music is still playing and we're still pretending like we can still eat whatever we want because its still the holidays and we say, "Hapy New Year!" with the same merry-christmas-gusto but it just doesn't sound the same.
It's also the time when we reflect on the past year- what was, what could have been, and what will be.

What Was...
*Biggest jolt on my Richter scale: Our family job situation. I went from newly-promoted manager at a cable company to manager at a police department. Big, huge, life-altering shift. Husband went from youth minister to stay-at-home-dad. Also huge and life-altering. Both happened (without coordination) THE SAME DAY.
*Our eldest started school. And dance class. And talking back. THE SAME DAY. I'm kidding.  But it did seem that within a matter of weeks we went from a toddler to a bona-fide school-age child who knows songs we didn't teach her and comes home every day with fabulous crafts.
*Our youngest went from crawling and babbling to running and talking. And having opinions. And deciding what nights its fun to go right to sleep and what nights to keep us up and dancing around like monkeys until he finally wears out and gives in.
*I decided that talking about losing weight was getting old, so I started doing something about it. I've lost 40 lbs this year. 40 lbs! And I wake up at 5am and workout like a crazy person and I love it.
*Oh, and I turned 30.  And put on a 5K for my birthday. Just realizing that I may not have blogged about that. It was awesome!
*Family trips- Disney stay-cation in May, Yosemite for Thanksgiving, Phoenix with Agirl in December

What Could Have Been...
2012 could have been a thousand things other than what it was. I can think back on what I could have done differently- how I could have been a better wife, mom, friend, daughter, sister... but overall, this little sphere of happy, healthy people is perfect. Its better than what I would have envisioned. Without going all Jesus-y, it is the humbling experience of abundant blessings that I could never have come close to earning. Which leads me to...

What Will Be...
Oh, 2013. I have high expectations and simultaneously absolutely no expectations at all.  I imagine a year of growth for us all as we continue to adjust and readjust. A few plans- a family cruise in the spring, 12 5K's for me with an inspiring and very fun girlfriend. Some hopes and dreams for our marriage and family and blog and career- things to work toward. Things I will write down and work toward and share as they unfold.

It has been a very, very good year. I am very, very, very blessed and very, very, very, VERY excited to see what 2013 will bring.
Sparkly wishes and heartfelt prayers for your family's 2013!

Now that I've wrapped up my first official Whole30,  I'm transitioning to Paleo- which is pretty much Whole30 compliant, with the occasional Paleo-ish-approved treat mixed in.

Another revelation- not only am I having a total and complete love affair with real food, but I enjoy cooking!
Ingredients to a perfect cooking experience:

• Lots of time.  More time than I need with no deadline or rush or hungry children caterwauling about how they haven't eaten in (gasp!) four whole hours! The travesty!
• Favorite new cooking buddies- wooden spoons, Vidalia onion chopper (seriously LOVE IT!), lots of cutting boards, amazing set of kitchen knives that were seriously underused before this experience.  What I need- a food processor!
• All ingredients on-hand, with no last minute trips to the store
• Pandora app on the iPhone- I'm like 12 years late to the party, but I just downloaded it and I love it! Michael Buble and I are an excellent chef/musician duo.
• Huge glass of water- instead of nibbling as I cook, I drink water to stay full and distracted.

I've literally spent hours combing through the Internet finding recipes that are both Paleo and easy enough for someone just getting into cooking.  I am so, so excited to link up to the following recipes- each one has been made from scratch by me and whole-heartedly approved by my family. Below find the link to the recipes and my notes about any substitutions or hints- these are from some of my favorite recipe sites, so be sure to peek around and see what sparks for you!

• Squash Hash- Scroll down- this is the second recipe just below the second picture. I've made this using both butternut squash and sweet potatoes and it was incredible both times.  This is my favorite breakfast- I like the hash bordering on dark brown/burnt and the egg yolks runny.
• Chicken Tortilla Soup- YUM! Really really amazing.  For the chicken, I used the suggested spices and put the chicken in the slow cooker for 5 hours on high, then shredded the chicken and used it in the soup. I skipped the poblano and jalapeno peppers and only used diced green chiles to make it milder for my kids. And plantain chips- DOUBLE YUM! (I found some at Trader Joe's in the chip section, not the dried fruit section)
• Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Bacon- simple and delish.  Made me fall in love with brussels sprouts and goes with EVERYTHING. Especially this...
• Primal Meatloaf- Made this pretty close to recipe but topped with tomato sauce and sliced yellow onions.  Awesome and reheated great.
• Southwestern Frittata- this is a fantastic dish to make over the weekend and have for an easy, yummy breakfast all week.  I'll reheat and smash half an avocado on top.  Also, these ingredients are totally interchangeable for anything from the same family.  For example, I took this to a brunch and used bacon, pancetta and diced green chiles with the onion and sweet potatoes, put a little coconut milk in the eggs, and it was incredible and raved about by non-Paleo-ers.
• Salmon Cakes with Ginger Mayo on top of Red Cabbage Slaw with Tangy Carrot Ginger Dressing- Made this for my family over the weekend since I thought it was a little ambitious, but man was I pleasently pleased at how super dazzling and decadent this felt.  I made the slaw earlier in the day, put the cakes together and "fried", and then topped with the ginger mayo.  Everyone ate every bite.  Making this for my next Paleo dinner party.
• Pumpkin Cashew Curry Chicken with Coconut "Rice"- LOVE this.  Both tasted great seperately and together.  I'm so glad to have a rice substitute. And I wish I would have quadrupled the chicken to freeze and eat every day for lunch forever.
• Last but not least, a Paleo treat.  Humor me. Avocado Chocolate Pudding- I know! Note that I ate this after 37 days of no treats or added sugar. The real find came the next day after it had set in the fridge overnight- it seriously tasted like fudge.  Now I make it, spread it on a plate like fudge, and let it set in the fridge.  Amazing.

There are so, so many more recipes that I'm enjoying, but these are my most favorite-iest favorites. Hope you find something that looks yum and encourages you to try something new!

It's officially Day26 of my Whole30.  I'm trying not to focus on the countdown since I'm not stopping at Day30- I'm extending to Thanksgiving which will end up being a Whole44ish.

The number I am excited about focusing on is the number on the scale.  It's been so much harder than I woud have imagined to not get on the scale.  The power those three little numbers held at the start of my day surprised me.  My brain was like, "Wait a minute, you mean I have to decide whether its going to be a good day solely based off reality?"  Insane.

In the name of honesty, I totally cheated on Halloween.  Despite my intense mental planning, motivation and resolve against all things wrapped in foil, my mom made my most favorite dessert- apple crisp.  I know, my favorite dessert doesn't have chocolate? Can't explain it, just the smell and the warm apples with crunchy sweet crusty topping is so hard to pass on.  Mmmmm.  I stuck with my planned Whole30 dinner (all-meat chili and side salad) and passed on the corn muffins and honey butter for a small dish of the crisp.  I did forgo the vanilla ice cream... mini victory?

It. Was. DELICIOUS! The few bites that I had tasted so good, and super sweet after not having sugar for three weeks.  Then, kid you not, about ten minutes later my stomach started to hurt.  Like I had to sit down and considered not going trick-or-treating hurt. I've always been that girl that considered people who said desserts were too sweet as either pathological liars or just regular liars.  But there I was, with a stummy ache from too-sweet dessert.  Sugar fail.

It was probably one of the best things to happen to me during this process.  I was able to control my choice- a small amount of a dessert I really enjoy, something special and homemade. Despite the fact that I enjoyed it, eating an intense amount of sugar did not make my body feel good.  It definitely helped my resolve to stay completely away from sugar/dessert for the last few weeks of the Whole30, and will be a reminder after how important it is for treats to be jsut that- a treat, not a daily occurance.

I'll be sharing my post-Thanksgiving plan in the coming weeks, and will continue to share my progress.  I'll also be getting back to more fun things, like silly things the kids are doing and saying and ridiculous random thoughts that barely stay in my brain long enough to be written down before they disappear to that other 85% of my brain I'm apparently not using.  I swear that's where all my to-do-lists and great blog ideas go to die.

Today I drank straight black coffee.
Not as a dare.
Well, I guess it's kind of a dare I have with myself, and these two authors of "It Starts With Food" Dallas and Melissa Hartwig.
I first read about the Whole30 from Ann at Twelve in Twelve. I've been following Ann for a few months and feel a real connection with her.  We've both struggled with our weight for a long time, enjoy running, and she writes so honestly.  Plus, I admire her determination and she's FUNNY!
Reading about the Whole30 intrigued me, so I bought the book last week and cracked the spine on Saturday. 
Two days later, I'm diving in.
What is the Whole30? I'm glad you asked!
It's 30 days of completely clean eating, focused on vegetables, fruit and protein.
No wheat/gluten/carbs.
No sugar.
No alcohol.
No dairy.
What does that mean for me? Principally, no frozen yogurt or coffee creamer or chocolate.  And the fact that those are the first three things that came to mind are the EXACT reason I need to be doing this.
The Whole30 is obviously much more complicated than that, from where your meat comes from to the type of fat you cook it in, but the basic plan centers on eating full, bright, clean meals with mostly veggies, a little protein, a little fat, and a little fruit.
Today was Day 1.  I spent yesterday meal planning, shopping and (let's be honest) eating a donut. I planned out every meal, breakfast lunch and dinner for the next 7 days. Here's what I ate today...
Breakfast- shredded chicken scrambled with two eggs, topped with avocado and Tapatio, BLACK COFFEE
Lunch- sliced turkey, sliced tomatoes with salt, pepper and basalmic, and an apple
Dinner- shredded chicken, romaine lettuce, roasted red peppers, 1/2 avocado, salsa, and splash of olive oil
Two surprises...
#1: I wasn't as hungry as I'd envisioned.  I was a little hungry, but not uncomfortably so.
#2: Black coffee is actually okay.
This will be an interesting next 29 days.  Today I was home, no work, with the hubby to hop in if needed while I took extra time prepping my meals.  Tomorrow, it's back to real life- work, meetings, lunches out.
The phrase from the book that's ringing through my head...
"Fighting cancer is hard.  Drinking your coffee black Is. Not Hard."
Here's to the next 29 days of success!

Call it blogger-guilt, but I feel like just jumping back in with no explanation of my blog absence is incomplete.  Because while you're reading the post I'm about to post, I don't want you to secretly be thinking, "That's great, but why hasn't she posted in the last few months? And what in the world happened on the second half of her Disney trip?"
*Spoiler alert- the second half of the Disney trip was amazing.  I've started that post like 80 times, and its wavering between my computer and iPhone.  It'll come, promise!*
So where have I been? A mission trip to Africa? Nope.  Rebuilding our house after a flood? Nope. I've been right here- starting a new job for the first time in 7 years, keeping two kids fed and relatively happy and ushered to preschool and dance class and a bevy of parks, and lifting up my husband who lost his job a few months ago.
It's been an interesting few months.  Not at all where I would have predicted and on that same token, I could have never forseen how happy we'd all be at this new place.
Isn't that just life?
Now here I am settling back in, and getting back to some of the things that make me...me.

He won't cut up the cantelope, or scoop my pumpkin guts.
He rarely completely finishes a sinkful of dishes.
He replies "yes" before I'm even through asking if he wants whatever I'm planning on making for dinner.
He watches oodles of European soccer and could outfit a team with all his jerseys.
He always loads the dishwasher, and will reload it to fit more in.
He never brushes his hair even when it grows out and starts to get slightly curly.
He's learning to do a ponytail on our four-year-old.
He never asks how much money I spent post-shopping, just admires the purchases.
He tucks me in at night if I'm going to bed before him.
He is quirky and smart, handsome and funny. He is my teammate, my best friend. He is everything I want to be and nothing that I am.
He and I are a mighty We.